


We Need to Talk About Cas

by brokencasbutt67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love Confessions, Post-Arc: Lucifer Possessing Castiel, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, Vampire Hunt, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 16:45:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16268279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokencasbutt67/pseuds/brokencasbutt67
Summary: This was a commission. For more info, email me at brokencasbutt67@gmail.com





	1. Chapter 1

It’d been nearly 5 years since you’d seen Dean, Sam or Castiel, after leaving without giving more notice than a note scrawled on the receipt from the burgers from the previous days dinner. You preferred it that way, it opened up mental wounds, that were sewn shut by a three year old going by the name of Jack. He was a carbon copy of Castiel, right down to the way he acted. You both loved and hated it. Looking down to him, Jack was too engrossed in playing with his toys to recognise the thoughts that you were having. Shaking your head, you looked over to the clock and noted the time.   
“Hey Jack, whaddya want for dinner?” You asked.   
“Chicken nuggets” He said, not taking his eyes from the TV. With a roll of your eyes, you made your way through to the kitchen and turned the oven on, getting out chicken nuggets and fries from the freezer. You almost missed the knocking at the door. But you didn’t. Shoving the tray of food into the oven, you walked out to the door and saw Jack peering through the glass.   
“Hey kiddo, you gonna go back to your cartoons?” You said, brushing your fingers through his hair. Jack nodded and ran off, leaving you alone with the brothers at the other side of the door. You frowned and opened the door, not missing Castiel stood at the end of the driveway. He didn’t come over though, and you were glad of it. You didn’t want to think of the last time you saw him. The day you left.

\----- 5 Years Ago -----

  
You hated vampires. Hated them with a passion. They were the first things that you’d encountered in the supernatural world, and while it was a nest of vamps that introduced you to Sam and Dean who had then gone on to save your life a number of times, it was a set of vamps that killed your family and ripped you from your normal life.   
  
This particular hunt was painful. A nest of vamps had somehow taken over a scout camp trip, and killed all the kids. Sam had already pulled out, it killed him when he saw children getting hurt, Jess was pregnant when she died, though only you and him knew of that. Dean had pulled out, claiming illness, though you suspected that it was a lie but chose not to intervene. It’s only vamps. Gabriel had briefly appeared to reduce Dean’s concern, but he left almost instantly, and so, you were alone. You walked through the forest, wincing when a stick snapped beneath your feet. You looked around and let out a sigh of relief, only to have something ambush you from behind. A scream left your throat, in the hopes that Castiel or Gabriel would hear it.   
  
Castiel’s heart leapt into his throat when he heard you scream, and despite it being over a mile away, he snapped his fingers and disappeared.   
“Emily” He called out.   
“Ca- Lucifer, back here” You called out. You watched as the tan trench coat moved to you. There was a vamp on top of you, you were managing to keep him away from your skin, but it was becoming progressively harder. Seeing your angel friend, though possessed by Lucifer, it filled you with hope.  
  
There was an internal struggle going on between Castiel and Lucifer. Lucifer wanted to walk away, leaving Emily to the vampire, while Castiel wanted to save her, to wrap her in his arms and never let her go. Castiel managed to win the battle and ganked the vamp. Lucifer regained control, but feeling slightly sympathetic, helped Emily stand up and heal her properly.   
  
The journey back to the bunker was painful, you were alone but every so often, Castiel would appear, and attempt to make conversation, you couldn’t make it though. Your thoughts always went back to the love you held for him. Back at the bunker, you avoided eye contact with the darker haired man as you grabbed your bag and left the parking garage and made your way back to your bedroom.   
“Em?” Lucifer’s deep voice filled the hallway.   
“What?” You responded, not turning to face him. He would see the hurt in your eyes, he would hear everything you were thinking of, and that would mess up the entire situation so much more. After there was no answer, you made your way up the stairs and back to your bedroom, with the intention of showering.   
  
Steam billowed out of the bathroom behind you. Towel wrapped around your waist, you made your way back to your bedroom. You didn’t have much planned, only to get some pyjamas on, eat some food and maybe watch some porn, but that was depending on what food was in the bunker and if you could sneak Sam’s laptop away for a while without him noticing. Walking into your bedroom, you quickly dried your body and pulled some sweatpants on, along with a loose fitting t-shirt, before going off to search for food. The time in the shower had given you time to think, about your feelings for Cas, how he’d just saved you from certain death. You realised that you couldn’t carry on the way you were, avoiding bringing up how you felt, but there was no way he would return the feelings for you, and you’d long resigned yourself to that knowledge, and so, kept your feelings to yourself. Walking into the pantry, Dean was stood searching for food.   
“Hey Em” He said, not looking up.   
“Hey Dean” You responded, while moving to grab something to drink.   
“Can we talk, in private?” He asked. You shrugged.  
“After I’ve eaten” You said. Dean nodded and smiled, before closing a cupboard and leaving the room. Your heart sank, _what did he want to talk about?_   
  
After finding some food, you went off to find Dean. He was alone in his bedroom, listening to music. When he saw you he smiled and sat up, taking his headphones off.   
“Hey Em” He smiled, moving to give you space to sit beside him.   
“We need to talk about Cas” Dean said. You nodded and looked down, scared to meet his eyes.  
“Me and Sam know how you feel about him” Dean said, not bothering to beat around the bush. You opened your mouth but what could you say, that you didn’t love the angel? It was futile. So instead, you shrugged.   
“Cas is still in there, beyond Lucifer, it’s still him” Dean said. You shrugged.   
“Is there any point? Lucifer will hear it and use it to his advantage” You said. Dean shook his head.   
“Look, me and Sammy ain’t gonna force you to tell him, but think about it? For us, Em, please? It kills us to see you unhappy, and we know Cas feels the same” Dean said, rubbing your shoulder. You nodded and sighed.   
“I’ll think about it” You said. Dean smiled and watched as you stood up, and left.   
  
Walking down the corridors, Dean’s words echoed in your mind. _Cas feels the same?_ With a surge of confidence, you decide to go and find the angel that you love, and tell him how you feel, no matter of what Lucifer says.   
  
It doesn’t take long for you to find Castiel, or Lucifer, or whoever’s in charge in there. He’s sat in the library with Sam, and when Sam sees you walk in, he gets up and leaves, clearly aware of the conversation you have had with Dean, and what it is you’re going to say to the darker haired man.   
“Hello Emily” Castiel responded, not raking the focus off of the book in front of him.   
“Hey Cas” You murmured, and moved to sit opposite him.   
“How are you doing after the hunt?” Castiel asked.   
“Yeah, I’m alright thanks. Thanks for saving me by the way” You murmured.   
“That is no problem. What is it that you would like to talk about? What’s on your mind?” He asked, blue eyes meeting your own. The surge of confidence quickly dwindled, and you looked down.   
“I uh, I…” You sighed.   
“I’m not sure how this is going to go, so I’m just going to come right out with it” You said.   
“Okay…?” Castiel said. Fiddling with the hem of your jeans, you spat the words out.   
  
_“I’m in love with you”_   
  
After several minutes, you looked up and the blue eyes that you loved so dearly were filled with a devilishly evil look that made you regret the words you’d spoken.   
“You’re going to regret telling me that” Castiel said, though you knew it was Lucifer. You gulped and stood up.   
“I’m going to go” You muttered, avoiding looking up.   
“I don’t think so” He growled. Snapping his fingers, you were on a bed and he was stood over you.  
“I have heard all of your thoughts” His voice was deep.   
“And, I’m going to act them all out” He growled. You moaned, and surprising yourself, you didn’t want to run away. Snapping his fingers, you found yourself naked. You raked your eyes up the body that loomed over you. He smirked and stripped off his jackets until he was left in only a white shirt.


	2. Chapter 2

Coming out of your daydream, you looked out of the door and shook your head.   
“I’m sorry. I can’t do it” You said, and closed the door.   
“Mommy, who’s that?” Jack asked, his blue eyes piercing your own.   
“Just some old friends” You said, the tears blurring your eyes. Jack toddled off back to the TV, and you leant against the door. There was another knock at the door, followed by some speaking.   
  
“Just leave her Cas” Dean’s voice could be heard.  
“No Dean, I need to see her” Castiel responded.   
“Cas, buddy, Emily doesn’t want us here. I know you love her, but she’s made her choice. You need to respect her” Sam said. You sighed and slowly walked away from the door.   
“I guess you are right, Sam” Castiel said, he sounded so _defeated_. But you couldn’t go back, it would bring up too many sour memories. You heard the car speed away a few moments later, but you didn’t care. You needed to go back to bed. Checking on Jack’s food, you quickly plated it up for him before calling his name, and putting the food onto the table. While he sat and ate it, you poured yourself a large glass of wine and drank it in three mouthfuls.   
  
“Bathtime momma?” Jack asked softly. You smiled and nodded, thoughts drifting away from Castiel for a few hours. Clearing the dishes away, you lifted Jack onto your side and walked out of the kitchen and up to the bathroom. Filling the tub, you told Jack to take his clothes off and put them in the wash basket while you filled the tub with toys and bubble bath. Jack climbed into the tub and splashed eagerly.   
  
It was just after 8 when you finally got Jack to sleep. Walking down the stairs, you instinctively reached for your gun when you saw movement in your kitchen. You silently crept down the stairs, and the figure, whoever it was, was wearing blue jeans, a navy blue cardigan and they were holding one of your photos of Jack.   
“Who the fuck are you?” You growled out, causing the figure to flinch. They turned on the spot and cerulean blue eyes met your own.   
“C-cas?” You stuttered out.   
“I’m sorry, I had to see you” He blurted out. You stood stock still, unable to form a rational thought. Your eyes drifted down to the photo in his hands.   
“Oh, sorry I was just looking” Castiel said. You shrugged.   
“He’s yours” You murmured. The same blue eyes you were once in love with now met your own, and they were filled with an emotion you couldn’t place.   
“M-mine?” He asked, clearly dumbfounded. You nodded.   
“The night I left, after what happened with Lucifer? That night he was…yeah” You murmured. Castiel nodded.  
“Can I see him?” Castiel asked.   
“I just got him down for the night” You sighed.  
“I won’t be long” Castiel pleaded. Reluctantly, you nodded.  
“Follow me, be quiet” You said. Castiel nodded and slid his shoes off as he followed you up the stairs. You gently eased the door open, not making too much noise or disturbing Jack. Castiel silently made his way into the room and looked at the sleeping child. He was clutching a unicorn toy. _Ironic_ , the only word that popped into your mind. Castiel smiled at the sleeping child before turning to you, and leaving the room.   
“Can we talk?” He asked softly. You sighed.  
“What is there to say?” You asked.   
“A lot” Castiel said, closing the door behind him before following you down the stairs. You sighed.   
“If we must” You said. Castiel smiled, though you could sense the hurt behind it.   
  
“Lucifer is gone” Castiel said, sitting opposite you while you ate your dinner. You didn’t look up, you forced yourself to keep your eyes downcast. It would hurt too much to look up and meet the blue eyes you once loved.   
“I’m sorry” Castiel said quietly.   
“Lucifer was in charge, but I saw it all. I tried to take control, to expel him, but he was just too powerful” Castiel admitted.   
“I know I can’t go back and change it, but if I could I would. I heard what you said…how you feel about me” He said softly.   
“Cas…” You said softly, hoping he would end the conversation.   
“I hate that our first time together was him in charge” Castiel finished. Looking down, you shook your head.  
“I’m sorry Cas, I just can’t” You said. He reluctantly nodded.   
“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I just wish to amend the past” He said, and stood up.   
“I will leave you be” He said. You sighed and watched him leave, not bothering to wipe away the tears dripping from your cheeks. You fell asleep soon after, but it was far from a peaceful sleep. It was restless, the bed was cold and you longed to feel arms around you.   
  



	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Jack woke you early. Thankfully, he was at kindergarten today, giving you a chance to think about a lot of things. After dropping him off at the small building, you drove away and were walking around a small store when you saw Sam’s head poking out of the top of a shelf.   
“Cas, I don’t think it’s worth trying anymore. Emily made it clear that she doesn’t want us involved, and that’s fair enough, especially if she has a child” Sam said.  
“Samuel, you do not understand” Castiel’s voice hit your own. You couldn’t listen anymore, and so, plugged your earphones in.   
  
You were three aisles over when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You slowly pulled your earphone out, expecting to see Castiel when you turned around, except it wasn’t. It wasn’t Sam either, it was Dean. You hadn’t expected to see him.   
“Hey Emily” He said, a small smile gracing his face.   
“Hey Dean, you smiled, while pulling some burgers from the shelf.   
“Who’s the lucky duck getting one of your special burgers?” Dean asked, clearly jealous. You chuckled.   
“My kiddo” You smiled.   
“Damn I miss your burgers” Dean sighed.   
“I’m sorry Dean, I just can’t come back. Surely you understand?” You begged.   
“I do, Emily, but please, hear Cas out? He never wanted any of it to happen how it had. It’s killing him” Dean said.   
“I don’t think I can, Dean, I look at him and all I see is that night” You admitted.   
“That night, I don’t know what happened but what I do know is that its hurt both you and Cas badly, it needs to be spoken about. If it’s left under the surface for too long, it all comes out in a bad way” Dean said. You reluctantly nodded. For a child with no schooling, he was incredibly intelligent.   
“Can you guys come to mine tonight, I’ll do you burgers? Jack goes to bed around 7-8, we can talk then” You sighed. Dean nodded.  
“Are you sure you want me and Sammy there?” Dean asked. You nodded and smiled.   
“I need someone to take control if it goes south” You said. Dean nodded and smiled. He hugged you tightly before going on his way. You sighed and picked up another pack of burgers before going to search for the other ingredients, some beers and other beverages, as well as extra lettuce for Sam.   
  
You were watching a movie with Jack when Sam, Dean and Castiel arrived. You looked down to the almost – sleeping child and smiled to yourself.   
“Hey kiddo, does it sound like bedtime?” You asked. Jack nodded, eyes drooping. The thumb in his mouth likely didn’t help how childlike the 4 year old was. You smiled and lifted him onto your side as you stood, and went to the door.   
“Hey guys, I’ll be down in a few minutes, I just gotta put him down” You said, briefly making eye contact with Castiel, over Dean’s shoulder. You nodded to Cas, gesturing for him to follow you. Dean and Sam watched on as you walked up the stairs with the sleeping child on your shoulder. Castiel followed awkwardly, unsure of what to do. You walked into a darkened bedroom and using one hand, adjusted the bed, and with the other, you carefully laid Jack onto the bed. With a small smile, you kissed his forehead, before tucking the duvet around the sleeping body. You made your way to the door, expecting Castiel to follow. However, when you turned around, he leant down and kissed the top of Jack’s head.  
“I am sorry, my child” He whispered, before turning to you.  
“I’m sorry” He whispered. You smiled sadly and shrugged, holding a hand out for him as you left the room. A slight glimmer in his eyes, _hope_? Castiel took your hand and followed you down the stairs into the living room, where Dean seemed far too invested in Dinosaur Kingdom for a 38 year old man. Sam looked up and smiled, while you nudged Castiel to go sit in the living room while you finished up the dinner.   
“Hey, he get down alright?” Sam asked. You smiled and nodded.   
“Yeah, seems to be” You smiled, picking up 4 plates.   
“What’s he called?” Sam asked softly.   
“Jack” You smiled.   
“Is he…?” Sam trailed off.   
“Yeah, he’s Cas’, well, Lucifer in Cas’ body” You admitted. Sam nodded and smiled.   
“It’s obvious” He chuckled. You nodded.   
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to face him” You admitted.  
“Hey, me and Dean are here. Nothing can happen that you and him don’t want” Sam promised. You nodded and smiled.   
“You need a hand with anything?” He asked.   
“Uh…I’m not sure…you could maybe set the table up?” You asked. Sam nodded and set the table for four. You smiled and got some beers out of the fridge setting them at the table, as well as some water.   
  
Dean walked into the kitchen.   
“Hey Emily, that smells fucking delicious” He said. You shrugged and smiled.   
“Ooh, ice cold beers too. You know how to make a man happy Em” Dean said. You shrugged and started to dish out the food. Castiel coughed awkwardly, stood in the doorway. You smiled to him and nodded for him to come into the kitchen, and to sit down at the table. You smiled and quickly plated up everyone’s food, as well as putting a bowl of salad on the table, that quickly took Sam’s attention. Chuckling, you put the plates in front of everyone before moving to lock up and briefly listen for is Jack was crying, which he wasn’t. You walked back into the kitchen and found a space for you beside Castiel, opposite Sam and Dean. You sat down and reached for the mayo, putting some onto your burger and some for the fries. You smiled and watched as Sam piled his plate high with salad.   
“Sam can have my salad too” Dean chuckled. You smiled and chuckled.   
“This is delicious, Emily” Castiel said, smiling to you. You blushed and smiled, watching as he took a bite. Your eyes widened when you heard a pornographic moan from Dean, a small smile covering his face.  
“Haven’t heard that noise come from Dean for a while” You chuckled.  
“Haven’t had your burgers for a while” He chuckled. You shrugged and smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

The night passed easily. Dean and Sam were smashed off their faces, passed out on your sofa, leaving you and Castiel awake and alone.  
“Emily, I am truly sorry for everything that happened” He said.   
“I know I should’ve been able to hold him back more…” He trailed off, his voice disappearing as you faded into a memory of the night he was talking about.   
  
_Finding yourself naked, you scrambled up the bed to get away f_ _ro_ _m the devil. He grinned and snapped his fingers, forcing you to be held still, legs spread apart and arms held behind your back by an invisible force. You cried out when you saw that Castiel, or Lucifer, or whoever was in charge, was naked. You wanted him, but not like this. He forced himself into you, it was uncomfortable and painful. Yet sill, you kinda wanted it. It was rough, hot, painful, everything you wanted, and yet, you hated it. Castiel came with a groan, leaving you on the bed as he moved away to clean himself. He left the room a moment later, leaving you on the bed, but finally able to move. You scrambled off the bed and dressed yourself, not caring that you were starting to bleed.  
_ \-----  
When you came out of the daydream, you saw Castiel’s blue eyes piercing your own. He’d seen the whole memory too.   
“I’m so sorry” He whispered. You shrugged.   
“Don’t worry about it” You whispered. He shook his head.   
“I did…every day I worried that I’d fucked it up…hurt you” He admitted. You cupped his cheek.   
“Hey, it’ll be okay” You whispered. Blue eyes met your own.  
“Will it?” He asked. You nodded and leaning forward, you kissed him gently.   
“Why don’t we start over?” You said. He nodded.   
“That sounds nice” He smiled. Taking his hand, you stood up, Castiel following you awkwardly. You smiled as you briefly checked on Jack before walking into your bedroom, and closing the door behind you. Castiel smiled awkwardly and sat on the bed. You smiled and stripped you off your t-shirt. Castiel’s intake of breath made you chuckle slightly.   
  
Climbing into his lap, you kissed him gently, while pushing him back on the bed. You brushed your fingers through his hair gently, lightly tugging. A deep moan rumbled from the back of Castiel’s throat and it seemed to surprise him as much as it surprised you. Grinning, you shifted and lifted your t-shirt off of your body. Castiel’s hands moved to cover your bra. You moaned lightly and rolled your hips slightly. Castiel smirked above you and kissed you gently. Deepening the kiss, you rolled over on the bed and pulled him over you. Letting go of your inhibitions, you gripped fistfuls of his ass and rolled his crotch against your own. The black slacks were tented, rock solid and large. You moaned and gasped as Castiel’s head moved to your neck. His scruff scratched at your neck, tickling deliciously.   
“My god” You moaned. Castiel chuckled and rolled against you, his clothed crotch rolling against your own. Reaching between your bodies, you unbuttoned the trousers and pushed them away, leaving him in only the white Y – Fronts. You smirked and reached down, removing your own hands. Castiel’s hands took over, though the usually deft hands were now shaking and the movements rough and jumpy.   
“Emily…” He groaned, when he managed to remove your jeans and slid his hand into your panties. You chuckled and kissed him gently. You smiled and flipped over, pushing him down onto the bed. Rolling your hips, you saw his fingers twitching beside him. He wanted to touch, to take charge and so much more, but you were in a teasing mood. You rolled against him again, the bulge in his boxer shorts pressing brilliantly against your clit. Moaning, you tugged on Castiel’s hair lightly, nipping a trail down his chest. His v lines were defined, _perfect_. You chuckled when he whined, attempting to kiss you.   
“Hey, teasing time” You smirked. Castiel whined, but reluctantly agreed, watching as your hands trailed up his body, briefly brushing over his crotch. Smirking, you watched his reaction as his body lifted off the bed slightly. Chuckling, you kissed him gently.   
“Please, Emily” He whimpered. You finally indulged him, reaching into his boxer shorts. Castiel moaned and his hips bucked up into your hand. You grinned and held your hand still, watching as his hips rocked up into your hand over and over until he came over your ass with a groan. You grinned down to him and kissed him gently.  
“Good boy” You murmured, massaging your fingers through his hair gently. Castiel groaned quietly and rolled his hips, his cerulean eyes meeting our own. A small smile covered your face, leaning down to kiss him as his cold fingers tenderly caressed your cheek. Reaching down, you removed your panties.   
“Have you got a condom?” Castiel asked. You nodded and reached back, reaching into a drawer beside your bed. You handed it to him, smirking. With shaky hands, he struggled at opening the wrapper for several moments. Taking over, you covered his hands with your own and opened the wrapper. You reached back and rolled it onto him, smirking at his whines and moans.   
“Feel good?” You asked. He nodded and whimpered, still so innocent. Smiling, you stood up and pulled him up, before laying yourself on the bed and pulling Castiel on top of you, kissing him gently, while scraping your nails down the angel’s back. He reached down and lined himself up.   
“You gonna be okay, without prep?” He asked. You nodded and smiled, brushing a thumb over his cheek. Castiel smiled awkwardly, kissing you chastely. It was so simple, like a first kiss between lovers. He reached down, and lined up, looking down to you. His eyes met your own, the unspoken question bearing into your eyes.   
  
_Are you sure?_  
  
You nodded and smiled, tugging on his hair lightly. Castiel smiled and kissed you gently, slowly nudging your leg aside as he slowly pushed forward. You trailed your hand up his chest, cupping his neck slightly. Castiel slowly pushed forwards until his hips met your body. Your mouth opened in a gasp, hands scraping down his back, leaving four red welts.   
“Fuck” He murmured. You smiled and kissed him, while experimentally clenching your pussy around him over and over.   
“Fuck, Emily, I don’t think I’m gonna hold out” He murmured, gyrating his hips slightly. He pulled out and thrust back in just as deep as first. You moaned and threw your head back, hands reaching back to grip the pillow behind your head, using it to muffle your moans. You didn’t want Jack, Dean or Sam to wake and find out what was happening. The movement of Castiel’s hips was the best thing you’d ever experienced. He moaned quietly, moving his head to take your nipple into his mouth, hiding his moans perfectly. You gasped and rolled your hips up to meet Castiel’s, gripping his shoulder blades. Your orgasm hit you so unexpectedly it threw your entire body off centre. Castiel fucked faster and deeper, hitting a sweet spot that you didn’t know was there. He came with a groan, hiding it by biting down on your chest. With a grunt, you rolled your hips slightly, smirking while Castiel laid on top of you, the weight comfortable enough for you to pass out.   
  
You awoke a while later. Castiel had pulled out and was wiping over your body with a warm damp cloth. You smiled lazily up to him and pulled him close, kissing him gently.   
“Was that okay?” He asked. You nodded and smiled, curling close.   
“So freakin’ okay” You spoke softly.


	5. Chapter 5

  
  
When you awoke in the morning, Castiel was watching you, his blue eyes filled with an emotion you just couldn’t place. He smiled softly when your eyes met his. He kissed you softly.   
“Good morning” He murmured.   
“Morning” You whispered, and looked over his shoulder to the clock. It was just before 5am, meaning Jack wouldn’t wake for another couple of hours. It would give you time to talk things through with Castiel, something that needed to be done. You couldn’t carry on the way you were.   
“I’m going to grab a super quick shower, and then we need to talk. In the kitchen, Sam and Dean are still sleeping on the sofa” You said. Castiel nodded and stood up, watching as you did the same. Castiel snapped his fingers and was redressed again, while you found some clothes to wear and went to the bathroom, enabling you to shower and dress without having to leave the room.   
  
The kitchen was silent, the only noise in the entire house was soft snores radiating from the living room, where Sam and Dean seemed to have cuddled together. You looked over to Castiel, who was fiddling with his fingers. You poured yourself a mug of coffee before moving to sit opposite him, cradling the mug.   
“Did you sleep well?” He asked. You nodded and smiled, taking a mouthful of the coffee. It was hot, nearly burning your tongue, but it woke you better than needed.   
“Did you, do what ever angels do, well?” You asked.   
“I laid comfortably, yes” He said, his eyes briefly meeting your own. You looked down to the table again, avoiding the blue eyes.   
“Sam and Dean will be waking soon” Castiel said. You nodded and bit your lip. _It’s now or never._  
  
“Despite everything, I still love you” You said, almost silently, but you knew Castiel would hear it. Briefly you looked up, unsure of what you were anticipating. He was smiling, his eyes quickly met your own.   
“Do you?” He asked. You nodded and smiled.   
“Yeah, you’re the same angel I fell in love with so long ago, regardless of what Lucifer did” You said. Castiel nodded.  
“However, I’m not coming back” You said. You saw Castiel’s face fall.  
“I have to do what’s best for Jack, and if I go back to the bunker, he’s at risk” You said softly. Castiel nodded.   
“I understand Emily” He said. You nodded and smiled, looking up when you heard a groan from Dean.  
“I will always come when you call” He murmured. You smiled.   
“You are always welcome here, but you need understand that I won’t come back to the bunker any time soon” You spoke softly, so Dean or Sam wouldn’t hear it, while you took Castiel’s hand in your own. He nodded.   
“But…what does it make us?” He asked.   
“Friends? Lovers?” He suggested. You shrugged.   
“I’m not sure” You murmured.  
“I would like to be lovers” He whispered. You nodded and smiled.   
“We can do that then, but I don’t want it to be something that’s fleeting…you can always use this place as a safe house” You said. Castiel nodded.  
“Thank you Emily” He spoke quietly, standing up. He moved to stand beside you and hugged you tightly. You smiled and brushed your fingers through his hair. You didn’t see the older Winchester in the door way but you heard his clap. You smiled as you turned to face him, still holding onto Castiel.   
“Congratulations” Dean said. You smiled and rubbed Castiel’s shoulder.  
“You want to tell him, or me?” You asked, looking up to the angel.   
“Emily isn’t coming with us. She has made it clear” He spoke, stopping when he heard a quiet cry.  
“I’ll go check on Jack” You said softly, moving to go upstairs. You could briefly hear Castiel telling Dean everything you had said, while you went and woke Jack fully.   
“Who’s talking mommy?” Jack asked.   
“Some friends” You smiled, while kissing the top of his head and walking down the stairs. Castiel smiled when he saw you, with Jack sat on your side. You sat Jack on his chair at the table, before moving to the fridge.  
“What does everyone want for breakfast?” You asked.   
“Dean, Jack Bacon?” You suggested, looking at the two packs of bacon that needed eating.   
“Sounds good” Dean said, sitting beside Jack. You smiled and quickly made some breakfasts for the boys, looking up when Sam stumbled in, clearly suffering from the amount he’d drink. You smiled and handed him a boat of oatmeal, yoghurt and fruit. You smiled as he took the food, mumbling a ‘thanks’ and moving to sit down. You leant against the counter and watched everyone eating, smiling as Castiel stood beside you, his arm slid around your waist, a soft kiss being pressed to your cheek as everyone else ate.


End file.
